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Writer's pictureGeorge Longley

Ovidian Delight VIII

How to chat up a girl! Or not....


Cheesey chat up lines...we've probably all experienced one or two of those. And they are nothing new!


Ovid again with advice on how to chat up a girl (or not) at the races. A very funny poem and one of my GCSE texts (no, it wasn't THAT long ago).


'I am not sitting here as a fan of noble steeds,

But I do hope that the one you are supporting is victorious.

I have come to talk with you and sit with you,

To make you aware of the love you are stirring.

You are watching the races, I am watching you: so let us both

Gaze upon what we like and each of us feast our eyes.

Oh what a lucky charioteer is he that fellow you favour.

For has he become the object of your affection?

Were this to happen to me, were I that charioteer, I would press on

With courageous spirit carried by the horses released from the sacred starting gate,

And then I will slacken the reins, I will mark the backs of my horses with my whip,

Now I am grazing the turning posts with my inner wheel.

But if then you are espied by my as I race, I will slow down,

And the slackened reins will flow from my grasp.



Surprisingly, it worked.


She says at the end: 'Enough of this, let's go somewhere else'.


Ooh, la la!


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